This is why moving on from an ex is important

Give me the tea on Deniella

I am a model and actress. I’ve been doing it for about 3 years right now. 

I’m still searching for myself. I’ve been in a four and a half year relationship that had just ended recently. That was my first boyfriend and it started when I was 15. So, my world kind of revolved around him. I lost myself especially because when you’re younger, you try to control each other but you don't realize how toxic that control can get.

I’m also originally from the Philippines which is something I used to not want to share or associate with but now I'm very proud of my ancestry. 

Really? Why is that?

It's really hard to put in words but there is so much stigma around it and I thought it was lame, to be honest. But it wasn’t after I graduated that I became more involved in the Filipino community. I’m like, this is my culture, I need to be more invested in it, I need to love where I came from

So I started working in a Filipino restaurant and that’s when I really honed my Tagalog. I became fluent again so that was really cool for me and even did Miss Philippines. Now, being an actor and model, my main goal is to cultivate Filipino culture to break stereotypes.

Now do you feel confident about yourself?

Growing up, I went through this ugly phase for a really long time and it’s just recently that I learned to love myself. And I think that confidence is really important, no matter what you do, whatever stream you are going towards, you need to be confident in order to succeed.

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What does it mean to be “enough”

For me, you have to know that you are enough. You have to know that every person has their own experiences in life, we all have been raised differently, with different experiences and that effects our psychology in how we view the world. You just have to accept that and move on.

And I really like the little phrase “be comfortable being uncomfortable.” That is where I’m at right now. You just need to learn to be yourself and the people that love you for you will be attracted to you. You don’t need to show off like “This is me, this is me!” If people like what they see, then they will come to you.

How do you deal with rejection?

I definitely cry it out and I punch walls sometimes. Lately, Rather than letting it sit. Definitely, I let myself feel. That’s the most important thing: that you don’t block your emotions. Let yourself get affected. Let yourself sit in that for a second. Let me feel rejected. It’s about reflecting and being a badass about it and rocking it.

What are some of the things that you are celebrating now?

I just recently started acting and I’m really improving on it. And, going to school for acting is not about learning to be a good actor, but learning to be a human being from the core.

On that note, I have let myself to take bigger risks. Take risks because you can do something great or it can be shit and you can learn from it. But, at least, you tried because you aren’t sitting there thinking I could have done that.

And right now I’m dancing, I started pole dancing. I hate going to the gym so it’s dance and fitness at the same time. I need to be tricked into doing it. You know what I mean? 

Since I have come out of this relationship, I have just been doing me. Whatever I want to do, I make it happen.