How Vulnerability Changed Carter Reid's Life Drastically
At the point of being told no, you might feel as if you are not enough. How do you deal with it?
I used to do a lot of acting. So, I had to audition all the time and I had to hear “No, you didn’t get it” a lot. And you go on a hundred of those and it’s like “Oh crap!” No doesn’t mean that it’s not going to happen, it just means that it won’t happen in this way.
How do you juggle with being a creative, a mom and doing your own thing, while keeping sane?
I believe that priorities are constantly shifting. In one period of time, issue A may be at the forefront and then the following week, B is at the forefront.
I think that something that has really helped me over the years is the understanding that you can’t do everything. Even if I could do everything, would I even want to do everything? No.Then it becomes more of a question of, what do I want to focus my time and energy on doing?
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What’s your advice to people to be grateful, especially if they are in a mental headspace that they can’t? Or, if they aren’t there yet?
I would say it’s really important to remember, that whatever your situation or circumstance is, it’s to scale. You may think that, at this point, you may have a very crappy situation or circumstance (and it may really be the case.) But, somebody may look at your situation and be like “That’s amazing, I wish I was in her position.”
I would also say that there is always, even if it’s miniscule, some type of opening, whether it be a window or a crack that you can hold onto, pull and open it. So, even if you are downing out and shit hits the fan, there’s always something that you can find to be grateful for and use as leverage to get to your next opportunity.
Change, development and growth happens incrementally. So, grab onto the opportunity. Use it as leverage to your next step. And, that’s what you got to keep on doing. And, that’s life.
That’s beautiful. So, what was the hardest lesson you had to learn about yourself, personally or professionally?
That’s a really great question and it's very difficult to answer. I fundamentally believe that if you are open to looking at life in this way, you will find lessons in literally every step along the way. This might come from the crappy interactions or the crappy circumstances: those are the best lessons. So, it’s really hard for me to pinpoint one big lesson. I’m constantly learning: whether its from my son or even the person who gave me coffee this morning.
My hardest lesson was learning that it wasn’t weak to ask other people for help. I was the type to be like I can do it all.
I think for me, I have always been so fast paced. Generally, I’m a go go go person. So, I have a hard time with patience and letting things naturally progress. If I want something, it’s like I want to go get it. One of the hardest things I’ve learned in my life is to appreciate the process and trust the timing of my life.
One last thing, what’s something you are celebrating right now?
I have gotten crystal clear on what my values are and that is something that has flowered so beautifully. I’m quite proud of myself for honouring them.
I take huge pride in understanding and learning from a global perspective. That is something that when I was younger, I had totally shut out because it was very me, me, me focused. When we were kids, we had this very narcissistic view on the world and it’s natural. As you mature, you take yourself outside of yourself and you become part of this collective of humanity.
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You mentioned developing very clear values. So, what are those?
So, love. I think that should be a governing force for every human being because we are hardwired for connection. Responsibility. It’s like taking responsibility for every single word that comes out of your mouth and every single action that you do. And, even just understanding that you have an effect on those around you, that’s a level of responsibility.